I remember she went home at around 2 or 3 PM. Then in early evening, she was always ready to help me learn (and re-learn) the kindergarten/elementary school work. I was not too good with math (until now), so she would have these "lidi" (Indonesian word for palm-leaf ribs)- they look like thinner skewers- ready for me to learn how to add the numbers. She would ask a question like, "Ok, if Mom has this one "lidi" and you have another one, how many lidi would we have?" while showing and moving the lidi close together. She did that every day, patiently, until I understood how to add and subtract the numbers.
She was indeed, very patient, but she was also very strict at times. She worked and tried to be a good wife and mother at the same time, cooking for us, her kids. Her number one rule was: eat everything that is on the dinner table. Rule number two was: don't eat something if I tell you not to. Here's how the rules worked.
Rule number one. In my family, meat was a luxury. In Indonesia, meat was more expensive than vegetables (not like in the US) and so in my family, we didn't eat meat every day. We would eat rice, vegetables and we would have tofu, tempe (soybean with the beans were still on it, for lack of a better word. See this if you're interested: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempeh), or fish for the protein. Richer families would often have meat every day, but not mine. OK, whose children liked vegetables?? We (my siblings and I) didn't. But my mother's rule applied on every meal. Whatever she cooked for us, she wanted us to finish it and not to complain.
The result? Well, it could be good and bad. I rarely complained about food. It was very different from my husband, for example, who was used to eating "good stuff." His palate was more trained :) compared to mine. For my palate, (almost) all food was good. I became an omnivore..lol... and I ate (almost) anything. Was that good or bad? Heehee...
Rule number two. My parents did not have much money back then but sometimes they wanted to treat us, the children, by dining out. Our favorite was going to the "soto" place (Soto was a kind of soup with meat, vegetables,and broth. See this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soto_%28food%29). Soto was usually eaten with many accompaniments. One of the cheaper accompaniments was tempe, and one of the more expensive ones was chicken on skewers (sate/satay). Of course, being fed tempe almost every day, we would love to be able to choose satay. It was fine for our parents. However, whenever they had so little money, before we went to the soto place, my mother would always say to us, "Children, please, do not take satay this time." We were sad, but we understood - it meant that our parents did not have much extra money that time.
I am proud of my mother (and my father) for making me who I am today. Needless to say, she is the best mother in the whole world. It's because above all, she is a praying mother. She prays and hopes the best for all her children.
Happy (Indonesian) mother's day, Moms (because now I have the best mother-in-law in the world, too).
And until now, I am a big fan of tempe, instead of satay :)
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